One door closes

We have all heard the saying.

When one door closes another one opens...
There's an alternative to this, that another door may open but getting through the hallway is a real bitch!  I'm pretty sure we have all been there too.  Life isn't always easy or pretty.

But what happens when you are in the room where the door is now closed?  Is there a window? Is it open or will it ever?
  
All good things must come to an end.  A lot of people have probably heard or lived this one too.  And when those 'good things' come to an end, is there something saying it is to be a happy ending? Not all of them are. 

I am experiencing a door closing, a 'good thing' or at least what I may have thought was a good thing at one time, coming to an end.  This ones star seems to have fizzled out. It happens and I am not upset. Disappointed? Immensely, yes. I am losing someone I considered a friend. Maybe a lot more than a friend, more like family. 

What really saddens me in all of this though is how some people can't even remotely begin to be honest about stuff.  There is no accountability for anything they have said or done, no remorse for having led others to believe something while they live the exact opposite of their words and actions.  How they can let someone believe what they want, and even encourage those thoughts, feelings and emotions by throwing fuel on the fire here and there, then standing back and watching it burn- knowing the whole time it is no more than smoke and ashes...  I clearly don't understand the shallow minded.  

It is not in my nature to take all of the memories and cast them aside.  Those things that were said, the places we went, the long talks, being able to speak freely with no fear of judgement, an unspoken rule of secrecy, the trust, the closeness, the intimacy...  Not exactly something that can be quickly or even easily replaced.  Sure the memories will fade over time. Maybe they will take with them the feelings of loss and disappointment too.  Those things that tarnish the metal I thought this was all made of.

And yet I am left thinking of the mutual friend that brought us together. It is their birthday today.  Although I haven't spoken to them in years, our connection is still strong. I wish them all the best on this day, every year. I wish them all the best whether I can actually tell them or not.  Although they didn't always have my best interest at heart, I know what I had to work with.  I may have lost them too in some sense of the word, but somehow it doesn't quite compare.  Although I know when I hear from them again, it will be just like old times. Picking up right where we left off, without a hitch.

Even if no good can ever come of it. *snickers*

Comments

  1. It may help to remember that each of us touches each others life for a reason and purpose, it is not always immediately clear what that purpose is or was , but it is there. And in the good memories and time I hope you find it

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  2. I can relate to a lot of what you've said. As for me I waited when the door closed for a window with a balcony to appear so once again I could breathe the air and start again only to find out as fate and circumstances would have it that I still would live within the boundaries of the hall where no light is allowed in.
    For you I hope things are very different. People come and go but the true loves and friends stay forever.

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  3. FV- It may take me a while to dig through it all, but I'm sure the deeper meaning is in there. Somewhere. Right now I'm just not in the mood to look for it. At this point I don't know if I ever will be.

    Queen-Sized- Sometimes I think it would be easier on everyone involved if they just disappeared, went away for good or fell off the planet. That way there would be a clear and difinitive 'break'. No going back and absolute closure.

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  4. Aw. Hang in there my Pixie! Things will have to get better, true? *hugs*

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  5. Dawn- the person we spoke of in email? That would be the one whose door recently closed. Similar to your own experience.

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