Monday, July 18, 2016

happy, Happy, HAPPY

Recently I had a long overdue chat with a friend of mine. We haven't spoken in a while, since life tends to get in the way and time slips by on us. So early one morning with a fresh cup of coffee in my hand, I rang her up on the telle and we dished out on all of the latest things happening in each others lives.

How refreshing and energizing. We were both quite chuffed with the chance to speak and find out how things are going so devinely for us both. One thing we both agreed on was that there was a sense of overall 'lightness' in the air. We both had found our own sense of freedom in doing things we had always wanted too and for a change, being able to relish in the excitement. "You just Sound so much happier lately. I can hear it in your voice." Her words.

I acquired a new flat mate after kicking my long time other half to the curb. The new one is working out well enough so far. Its a platonic relationship and has been for some time. We had his family over recently for a meet up and speaking with his sister, she told me "I'm glad you guys are sharing a flat together. He is just so much happier lately.

Apparently the enthusiasm is rubbing off.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

The courage to quit

Many of us have been raised Not To Quit. "Nobody likes a Quitter" We've all heard the saying at some point in our lives and there is truth to that. That's because quitting is often associated with cowards and usually seen as a weakess. Some people quit before they ever even start. My brother was a perfect example of that- letting things go until what was a small job became a lot of work. "I just don't know where to start..." so he didn't. People would help him out of sympathy until they figured out it was all a ploy on his part to get out of doing anything. When that happened, he moved on to the next person.

But there are times when it takes courage to quit. Times when we need to put things down and walk away. It is okay to quit. Sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do. When you no longer engage in the argument, quit being the 'punching bag' in a relationshit- be it verbal or literal, no longer allow yourself to be treated like a doormat... It might be perceived as self preservation, but taking a stand has aways taken a hell of a lot of courage.

We all have courage. The courage to do things without a safety net. Courage to go forward and leave everything we know behind us. Sometimes quitting means we will be going forward without something to fall back on. That's having the courage to quit.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Now what?

I ask myself this question all. the. damned. time. Now what?

I wanted to do this and I did. Now what? You wanted to go there. Been there, done that. Now what? You reached this _____ age in life- Now what?

Lately I find myself asking this of other people too. Same thing. Like it's standard procedure or something???

You wanted to do this and you did. Now what? You wanted to go there and you did. Now what? You reached this _____ age in life- Now what?

Lately I find myself asking it for other reasons. Sadly this seems like it is becoming standard procedure too.

You didn't get your way? Now what? You threw an epic tantrum. M'kay... Now what? Oh, you're mad because you truly look like an ass. Got it. Now what? Everything is my fault now? Awesome. Now what?

You expect me to be a two faced, back stabbing wretch? Sorry. Can't help you there. Now what? You're mad at me because I'm not playing along.... Whatever. Now what? You wanted to be left alone, so I obliged and walked away. Now what?

Is it just me, or is it exhausting living like that? Maybe I should change it up a bit to something different. Something like - Fuck that!

Friday, January 22, 2016

New ideas

I recently seen a post on another blog where the woman was resolving to save money this year. It had a chart for a 52 week savings plan. Week 1 you save $1, week 2 you put away $2 and so on. At the end you have $1378, not including any interest. Not a bad haul for adding $1 a week to what you're saving.

I have also heard a few other tips on saving money.

Pay for everything with paper money. Dump the change in a bowl, jar, container of some sort and watch how quickly it adds up.

Or figure on saving one hour pay per day. If you make $15 per hour multiply it by 5 days a week that you work and you have $75 to sock away. Aren't you worth paying yourself each day for one hour of your work day? I know many of us are worth far and away more than what we're paid, but you get the idea.

I have also heard of giving yourself an allowance. You get $XX a paycheck to blow on whatever you want. It's cash so not traceable and you cannot go over. The rest goes in savings if there's any left over at the end of the pay period. The rest of the check is to pay the bills and go into savings.

So what are your helpful tips and rules to follow for saving money? I'm open to suggestions.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

So it is, and so it shall be

I hope everyone had a happy holiday season. Somehow it just doesn't seem like it should happen so fast and be over already, but here we are almost half way thru the first month of the new year. Damn, that was quick.

Over the holidays one of my dear friends had issues with their relatives. The relatives thought they would get the upper hand and 'show them' by not giving my friend or their kids any gifts. The relative thought this would reflect to my friend how childish they were being towards the relative.

Below is a note my friend sent to the relatives.

"I don't want anything from you that comes with a price. My love isn't to be bought. The kids are fine and didn't notice your family didn't get them anything. They already have plenty, so there's no worries there. Besides relative, you have given them things in the past only to take it away and throw it out. This year you have merely saved yourself the time, energy and hassle of finding gifts, buying, wrapping and giving these things, only to take them away and throw it out later on.

I'm not even sure what to say here, so I shake my head in disgust. I know that in your mind, you think you have 'won', but in reality, you have actually lost a great deal. I know I have lost all respect for you. Please understand that it is not just from this one action but rather a compilation of many similar things you have done. I have watched as over the years, you have turned into such an angry, bitter person. Judging from your past behavior, I don't see that changing any time soon. I choose not to subject my children to that so after some thought, it has been decided we will no longer be attending any family functions. I have made peace with my decision and hopefully in time, you will find peace in your life too."

I can only imagine how bent the relatives were when my friend turned the tables on them. They were likely expecting a fight, not for my friend to take the high road like that and make them look like an ass in the process.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

I'm Due for an Upgrade

Over the past few months, I have gotten a chance to learn some things about someone I thought I knew. I wasn't intending to go down this road, but I'm on it and this is where it has led me. I thought I knew this person pretty well. Things they liked, things they didn't and how they viewed the world around them. I will admit to being wrong on several accounts here. I am not disappointed in being wrong, nor am I saddened by it. Theirs is not my cross to bear.

There are some things I have been pretty close on. Some things that others have pointed out over the years that have been spot on as well. And as things came hurtling in my direction from them as a personal attack on me? Instead of meeting them halfway and engaging in the shouting match and ensuing argument they expected? I let them run with it. I remained quiet and let them have their say. I dare say, they thought they were so right. They thought I was everything they had just pointed out to me. In their eyes I am nothing.

When it was all over and done, I thanked them for pointing out how worthless they think I am. How I have no taste, no class and how even though they think everything about me is no more than trash and beneath them, I am the one they have turned to for help. I am the one they have expected to bail them out. Me in all my trashy, worthless, bad karma, glory self has been there, had their back, rescued them and saved their ass on more than one occasion. So if they don't like me, don't like my help and apparently don't appreciate it? Well I'm more than happy to back off. Let's see what happens when I'm not there, don't support them and I'm no longer their doormat.

Friday, October 9, 2015

What is your worth?

I keep getting an email in my inbox that has been circulating the web for a very long time. It describes women and how they are supportive, caring and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I get it. We are. We are or can be all of that, all of those things at one time or another in our lives. At the end it says the one weakness women have is they don't often realize how much they are worth. I get that part too. We often put others before ourselves. Take care of everything else before taking care of our own needs. It happens a lot, not just in my own life, but in the lives of many others as well.

Sometimes we will listen to others who say negative things and put us down. They are not only trying to wipe out our self esteem, but destroy our sense of self worth in the process too. This is also not just a one way street. Men and women of all ages do it to each other every day. It's a pretty fair playing field in that respect. Disgusting, but fair.

It's kind of strange though, how the lack of worth a person has may also be their one saving grace. I know a person in this very position. They are clueless to the number of people who view them with complete and utter disgust for something they have done and as a result, they have a huge target on their back. There is no bounty on their head, because to the 'hunters', this prey has no worth. This person remains on this earth, on the word of the one person whom they despise, blame for their situation and who they think is their sworn enemy until such time, as one of them shall pass... they are still allowed to look at the ground from the top, simply because, they have no worth.