Thursday, October 1, 2015

Walking thru fire

The title of this is a rather metaphoric phrase. Lately I have come to realize that I am essentially walking thru fire. There has been a lot of drama and turmoil in my life lately. Adding to it, the fact that it has all been created by others, makes it all the more difficult to find clarity at times, getting thru the smoke.

There have been days where the key players do nothing but argue. Tearing at each other with no remorse, no apologies, no concern for the carnage they cause or the wake of destruction they leave behind. No, their focus is on the outcome best for them and nothing more. They triangulate their arguments, but they don't include me in any of it. Which is just fine I must say, because I choose not to engage. I've dealt with my share of insanity in life and I don't anymore.

I have been over everything that has led us to this point, over and over and over again. I have Nothing. I have no issue with taking my licks when they are justly deserved, claiming MY mistakes when I make them or otherwise owning up to my shortcomings. But when someone accuses me of something I didn't do, it puts me on edge. I question their motives, which is usually nothing more than to cover their arse.

When things are settled, I will have no problem walking away from it all. I will have shed the burden of their negativity and all that goes with it. Right now I am walking thru fire.

Although it may be a tough concept for some to grasp, fire can be quite cleansing. Fire burns it all away. Fire is what will leave me clean, whole and ready to start fresh. The fire is purging things from me, my surroundings and life. Things which I no longer need. The flames flicker and dance, move in and draw back. Threaten and retreat, before latching on and destroying the negative, the dying and decaying of what once was. I am at the center of it, but yet unharmed. I am strong and I can walk thru fire.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Pray for your enemy

Pray for your enemy, for you'll never enter the Kingdom of Heaven with hatred in your heart

I seen this in the comments on a post about a black police officer helping an older white man out of the heat at a KKK rally. Many were commenting that this officer was 'only doing his job' and what if it was a white officer helping a black man? Would it still be news??? Some of the other comments questioned if the white man may change his outlook and views? That is up to him.

I'm glad that at least the description of what is seen is not lost. Many times over we hear of people spewing lies and deceit, putting their own spin on things to fit their agenda. In cases like that, what is actually happening in real life, at that moment... is twisted and distorted for their own sense of gain.

I have prayed for people I may not like or trust. I pray for them often as theirs is a world I choose not to be a part of. While I have prayed for them, I do not request, nor do I expect that they would return the sentiment. Why should I when it would be void of all sincerity?

They are not my enemies for I do not hate them. Hate is a term to be used sparingly. And while I do not hate them, they may expressly loathe my very existance. Isn't that special?

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

pixie promise

It's been a while since I have posted and I apologize for the time in between what I've posted recently. Having been traveling with my career, many times I'm exhausted when my head hits the pillow at night. I'll try to do better this year. Pixie Promise.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Slipping away

Slipping away in the night,
Innocence gone in the dark,
The flames of passion lit,
Fire from a spark.

No one was around,
To know what we had done,
The only one who ever knew,
The elusive man in the moon.

Never a regret,
Nothing done wrong,
It wasn't long until,
You had to move on.

Now you come and go,
On the slightest of a breeze,
Whenever you're here,
It brings me to my knees.

I'm glad to have you back,
While praying that you'll stay,
Knowing that you're leaving,
A little closer every day.

Not knowing when,
You'll be at my door,
Asking for my heart again,
That I can't give to you anymore.

You're passing thru my life,
But I feel you slipping away,
There's no telling where you are,
On any given day.

Before we know it,
Time has gone by,
You're out of reach,
Neither of us knows why.

May feelings never fade,
Memories always last,
Love as deep and strongly
Passions remain intact.

Life goes on living,
'Til its written in stone,
Leaving behind the ones we love,
To face life on their own.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Amazing things

Some of the most incredible people, say amazing things. Sometimes it is unexpected and often when you need to hear it the most. What makes these things even more amazing and the people even more incredible for saying them- they usually don't think anything of it. The words just roll off their tongue without a second thought about the size of the impact they are about to make. "It's what you do in love, it's a giant leap of faith."

Thursday, October 16, 2014

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Or at least unchallenged. Why is it that we live in a world where personal accountability is so far down on the checklist of moral responsibilities and obligations as to be forgotten? Certainly this isn't so with all human beings, I am privileged to know many people who do not suffer from this character deficit. I am also related in some manner or another to many who do. I don't often waste time, breath, or type, with this age old question but today I am annoyed. I am almost tempted to start posting pictures of my cats and grandchildren, maybe even a signature picture of me in one of my beautifully appliqued sweatshirts. Christmas in July anyone?

I am not like Taylor Swift in that, everything I write is not generated by personally experienced angst. Believe it, or not, I am old enough to be able to look about me and draw from the experience of others, in place of, or in addition to, the drama that sometimes passes for my life.

And here I thought I was unique, in my writing style and as a person.

P.S. I do love cats, might have grandchildren, but as, I am something of a sexy beast, it is damned unlikely I would be caught dead in an appliqued sweatshirt. My point is, this is the internet and you might not know me as well as you think.

Monday, June 23, 2014

What are you?

The other day there was a discussion of religion that I was a part of. There were many aspects of what each one had as their beliefs in relation to their path that is followed and after a while, the question circulated - What are you?

When it came around for me to answer, I replied, "I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just me." Everyone had a chuckle over that and clearly it said, I choose not to discuss this with any of you right now. For some people, their beliefs and spirituality is personal. It might enlist a lengthy list of questions. Although it can cerfainly be a teaching moment, sometimes I just don't feel like being the teacher as I am unwillingly placed in the spotlight.