Thursday, October 16, 2014

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Or at least unchallenged. Why is it that we live in a world where personal accountability is so far down on the checklist of moral responsibilities and obligations as to be forgotten? Certainly this isn't so with all human beings, I am privileged to know many people who do not suffer from this character deficit. I am also related in some manner or another to many who do. I don't often waste time, breath, or type, with this age old question but today I am annoyed. I am almost tempted to start posting pictures of my cats and grandchildren, maybe even a signature picture of me in one of my beautifully appliqued sweatshirts. Christmas in July anyone?

I am not like Taylor Swift in that, everything I write is not generated by personally experienced angst. Believe it, or not, I am old enough to be able to look about me and draw from the experience of others, in place of, or in addition to, the drama that sometimes passes for my life.

And here I thought I was unique, in my writing style and as a person.

P.S. I do love cats, might have grandchildren, but as, I am something of a sexy beast, it is damned unlikely I would be caught dead in an appliqued sweatshirt. My point is, this is the internet and you might not know me as well as you think.

Monday, June 23, 2014

What are you?

The other day there was a discussion of religion that I was a part of. There were many aspects of what each one had as their beliefs in relation to their path that is followed and after a while, the question circulated - What are you?

When it came around for me to answer, I replied, "I'm a lot of things, but mostly I'm just me." Everyone had a chuckle over that and clearly it said, I choose not to discuss this with any of you right now. For some people, their beliefs and spirituality is personal. It might enlist a lengthy list of questions. Although it can cerfainly be a teaching moment, sometimes I just don't feel like being the teacher as I am unwillingly placed in the spotlight.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Beautiful things

"Shine on me, sunshine.
 Rain on me, rain.
 Fall softly, dewdrops.
 And cool my brow again.
 Storm, blow me from here.
 With your fiercest wind.
 Let me float across the sky.
'Til I can rest again.
 Fall gently, snowflakes.
 Cover me with white,
cold icy kisses
and let me rest tonight"


Maya Angelou. xxx

Reading this while listening to "Swimming Home" by Evanescence, a hauntingly beautiful song, that it turns out is actually about death.  To describe it in one word, is simply and truly- Beautiful. I have only ever experienced a very small number, very, very few things in life, that described in one word are just that- Beautiful.

In her last tweet on Friday, she said- "Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God." What an amazing and inspiring woman.

RIP Dr. Maya Angelou
 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Dark Parts

Things were said,
things were done,
Without a second thought,
you cast that stone,


Sinking deeper
Not trying to swim,
Not giving up,
Not giving in.


Can't go forward,
Can't stop, turnaround,
Welcome to the dark parts,
Now that you're underground.


You hit the bottle,
And the truth comes out,
Speaking your mind,
Leaving no room for doubt.


All of you fears,
Ghosts from the past,
Can't get away from them,
You're in their grasp.


I retreated,
I pulled back,
I'm not about to,
Get caught up in that.


Can't go forward,
Can't stop, turnaround,
Welcome to the dark parts,
Now that you're underground.


I keep my distance,
Guard my heart,
You may never make it in,
To the deepest parts.


Skeletons in the closet,
Don't open that door,
Bones will spill out,
All over the floor.


Hush keep quiet,
The Reaper's on his way,
If he slips on by,
You'll live another day.


Can't go forward,
Can't stop, turnaround,
Welcome to the dark parts,
Now that you're underground.


Sunday, April 20, 2014

Bang! Bang! Bang!

That's the sound of someone hitting their head against the wall. It's not a sound I ever choose to make, at least not with my own head. No, no. If it's going to be someone's head banging against the wall, I would rather it be theirs, not mine. If someone else chooses to bang their head against the wall- Who am I to stop them? Unless it is a friend of mine of course. Then yes, I will step in and shove a pillow in their way to lessen the blow.

Everyone has, at some time or another, faced challenges in life that make us feel like we are banging our head against a proverbial wall. We do what we are told and are still chastised for it. We try to accomplish something and repeatedly fail, sometimes we are even set up to fail before we even begin. Then there is the game of- waste your breath. I have seen this game played more times then I would like to count.

Waste your breath often starts with a question. The person asking the question, usually has an answer already in mind. They ask you the question, then sit back and pretend to listen to your reply. They will keep asking the same question, maybe change the wording a little, but they repeatedly ask it. To them it is a game of see how many times you fall for it. How many times will you answer the question, the same way, trying to convince them of the truth?

You may as well bang your head against the wall, because they aren't really listening. They don't care, but they sure get a kick out of watching you get flustered and worked up, trying to tell them what's going on or what happened.

There's another game similar to this, called Lip Service. Lip Service is similar in that the person who is supposed to be listening is not. They will tell you what they think you want to hear and then blatantly do as they please. You can explain things all day long, argue with them and even threaten them with some course of action that they will be reprimanded for, but they still have their own plans in mind, serving their own agenda and don't give a toot or a half a shit about what happens to anyone else around them.

So how do you handle people who play these stupid games? By giving them stupid prizes of course! Give them answers they aren't expecting and probably don't want to hear. Agree with them. It saves everyone time and energy. Ever watch a game of tug-o-war? What happens when one 'team' stops playing and drops the rope? Sometimes you have to lose to actually win.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Life worth living

I read a quote today in the comments on a story online. The person who posted it gave credit where it is due.

It's by William W. Purkey -

"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth."

Sometimes I can dance like nobody is watching. It's usually because nobody is. I checked or else I locked the door. Ha! 

Love like you'll never be hurt. Sometimes this can be tough. I have loved people in my life though, because of or sometimes even in spite of their shortcomings. Their problems are not necessarily mine, but I can be understanding, sympathetic, listen, give them an objective opinion if asked, guidance and support them in their decisions.

Sing like there's nobody listening.  I do it a lot. In the car especially. Windows up, windows down- it doesn't matter. I sing it loud and proud. I let my inner voice be heard no matter how off pitch it may be.

Live like it's Heaven on earth.  I would like to do this more. I try. I honestly do. But if it truly were Heaven on earth, none of us would have to work. There would be no bills and we could just breeze thru life doing what we like all of the time. 

Lest I forget- Happy St. Patricks day and may the luck o' the Irish be with ye.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Teach a man to fish

The old saying "Give a man a fish, he'll eat for the day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime." has to do with teaching someone to do something. But what if they don't want to learn?

It can be frustrating for anyone, how you can make something so easy for someone else to do and yet they still manage to screw it up. I know a few people in life like this. You can give them specific, written directions to follow, step 1, step 2, step 3 and so on... everything but hold their hand or do it for them. They still manage to blow it.

There are people who leave you scratching your head in wonder, if they really just don't get it? They try, they honestly do and yet they fall short over and over, time and again. They either rush thru things, ignore things, skip things or try to just finish it now and come back later to clear up rather than do it right from the beginning. Um, no. It doesn't always work that way. I have always asked- if you didn't have time to do it right on the first go, where are you going to find the time to do it over?

I know there are times when you need to just go slow, learn it the right way and later it will be easier and faster because you become more proficient. I get that. With written directions, specifying the order to be followed, even showing you exactly what you will see as you proceed... How do you screw it up? How does anybody not understand what they need to do?

I know that sometimes it is intentional. I have known people to intentionally do things wrong to the point of pissing off the person showing them, to where they just sack the idea of teaching them and tell them, "Nevermind, I will do it myself." This is an art in and of itself. I don't want to do this so if I mess up enough to piss them off, they will do it for me. Some people are masters of the subtleties of repeatedly pulling this off with the same person. I just don't suffer their foolishness.

My father was a master at asking where stuff was so that others would get it for him. Asking repeatedly how to do something so someone else would just do it to shut him up. He wasn't to be considered thick at all. Instead he was quite brilliant, because he could get others to do things for him that he didn't want to have to do himself. When you grow up with someone like this, once you figure it out for yourself, it is easy to spot in others when they are honestly trying and when they are not. That starving man has to WANT to learn to fish. Otherwise trying to teach him is a waste of time for everyone involved.