Thursday, February 4, 2016

Now what?

I ask myself this question all. the. damned. time. Now what?

I wanted to do this and I did. Now what? You wanted to go there. Been there, done that. Now what? You reached this _____ age in life- Now what?

Lately I find myself asking this of other people too. Same thing. Like it's standard procedure or something???

You wanted to do this and you did. Now what? You wanted to go there and you did. Now what? You reached this _____ age in life- Now what?

Lately I find myself asking it for other reasons. Sadly this seems like it is becoming standard procedure too.

You didn't get your way? Now what? You threw an epic tantrum. M'kay... Now what? Oh, you're mad because you truly look like an ass. Got it. Now what? Everything is my fault now? Awesome. Now what?

You expect me to be a two faced, back stabbing wretch? Sorry. Can't help you there. Now what? You're mad at me because I'm not playing along.... Whatever. Now what? You wanted to be left alone, so I obliged and walked away. Now what?

Is it just me, or is it exhausting living like that? Maybe I should change it up a bit to something different. Something like - Fuck that!

Friday, January 22, 2016

New ideas

I recently seen a post on another blog where the woman was resolving to save money this year. It had a chart for a 52 week savings plan. Week 1 you save $1, week 2 you put away $2 and so on. At the end you have $1378, not including any interest. Not a bad haul for adding $1 a week to what you're saving.

I have also heard a few other tips on saving money.

Pay for everything with paper money. Dump the change in a bowl, jar, container of some sort and watch how quickly it adds up.

Or figure on saving one hour pay per day. If you make $15 per hour multiply it by 5 days a week that you work and you have $75 to sock away. Aren't you worth paying yourself each day for one hour of your work day? I know many of us are worth far and away more than what we're paid, but you get the idea.

I have also heard of giving yourself an allowance. You get $XX a paycheck to blow on whatever you want. It's cash so not traceable and you cannot go over. The rest goes in savings if there's any left over at the end of the pay period. The rest of the check is to pay the bills and go into savings.

So what are your helpful tips and rules to follow for saving money? I'm open to suggestions.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

So it is, and so it shall be

I hope everyone had a happy holiday season. Somehow it just doesn't seem like it should happen so fast and be over already, but here we are almost half way thru the first month of the new year. Damn, that was quick.

Over the holidays one of my dear friends had issues with their relatives. The relatives thought they would get the upper hand and 'show them' by not giving my friend or their kids any gifts. The relative thought this would reflect to my friend how childish they were being towards the relative.

Below is a note my friend sent to the relatives.

"I don't want anything from you that comes with a price. My love isn't to be bought. The kids are fine and didn't notice your family didn't get them anything. They already have plenty, so there's no worries there. Besides relative, you have given them things in the past only to take it away and throw it out. This year you have merely saved yourself the time, energy and hassle of finding gifts, buying, wrapping and giving these things, only to take them away and throw it out later on.

I'm not even sure what to say here, so I shake my head in disgust. I know that in your mind, you think you have 'won', but in reality, you have actually lost a great deal. I know I have lost all respect for you. Please understand that it is not just from this one action but rather a compilation of many similar things you have done. I have watched as over the years, you have turned into such an angry, bitter person. Judging from your past behavior, I don't see that changing any time soon. I choose not to subject my children to that so after some thought, it has been decided we will no longer be attending any family functions. I have made peace with my decision and hopefully in time, you will find peace in your life too."

I can only imagine how bent the relatives were when my friend turned the tables on them. They were likely expecting a fight, not for my friend to take the high road like that and make them look like an ass in the process.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

I'm Due for an Upgrade

Over the past few months, I have gotten a chance to learn some things about someone I thought I knew. I wasn't intending to go down this road, but I'm on it and this is where it has led me. I thought I knew this person pretty well. Things they liked, things they didn't and how they viewed the world around them. I will admit to being wrong on several accounts here. I am not disappointed in being wrong, nor am I saddened by it. Theirs is not my cross to bear.

There are some things I have been pretty close on. Some things that others have pointed out over the years that have been spot on as well. And as things came hurtling in my direction from them as a personal attack on me? Instead of meeting them halfway and engaging in the shouting match and ensuing argument they expected? I let them run with it. I remained quiet and let them have their say. I dare say, they thought they were so right. They thought I was everything they had just pointed out to me. In their eyes I am nothing.

When it was all over and done, I thanked them for pointing out how worthless they think I am. How I have no taste, no class and how even though they think everything about me is no more than trash and beneath them, I am the one they have turned to for help. I am the one they have expected to bail them out. Me in all my trashy, worthless, bad karma, glory self has been there, had their back, rescued them and saved their ass on more than one occasion. So if they don't like me, don't like my help and apparently don't appreciate it? Well I'm more than happy to back off. Let's see what happens when I'm not there, don't support them and I'm no longer their doormat.

Friday, October 9, 2015

What is your worth?

I keep getting an email in my inbox that has been circulating the web for a very long time. It describes women and how they are supportive, caring and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I get it. We are. We are or can be all of that, all of those things at one time or another in our lives. At the end it says the one weakness women have is they don't often realize how much they are worth. I get that part too. We often put others before ourselves. Take care of everything else before taking care of our own needs. It happens a lot, not just in my own life, but in the lives of many others as well.

Sometimes we will listen to others who say negative things and put us down. They are not only trying to wipe out our self esteem, but destroy our sense of self worth in the process too. This is also not just a one way street. Men and women of all ages do it to each other every day. It's a pretty fair playing field in that respect. Disgusting, but fair.

It's kind of strange though, how the lack of worth a person has may also be their one saving grace. I know a person in this very position. They are clueless to the number of people who view them with complete and utter disgust for something they have done and as a result, they have a huge target on their back. There is no bounty on their head, because to the 'hunters', this prey has no worth. This person remains on this earth, on the word of the one person whom they despise, blame for their situation and who they think is their sworn enemy until such time, as one of them shall pass... they are still allowed to look at the ground from the top, simply because, they have no worth.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Walking thru fire

The title of this is a rather metaphoric phrase. Lately I have come to realize that I am essentially walking thru fire. There has been a lot of drama and turmoil in my life lately. Adding to it, the fact that it has all been created by others, makes it all the more difficult to find clarity at times, getting thru the smoke.

There have been days where the key players do nothing but argue. Tearing at each other with no remorse, no apologies, no concern for the carnage they cause or the wake of destruction they leave behind. No, their focus is on the outcome best for them and nothing more. They triangulate their arguments, but they don't include me in any of it. Which is just fine I must say, because I choose not to engage. I've dealt with my share of insanity in life and I don't anymore.

I have been over everything that has led us to this point, over and over and over again. I have Nothing. I have no issue with taking my licks when they are justly deserved, claiming MY mistakes when I make them or otherwise owning up to my shortcomings. But when someone accuses me of something I didn't do, it puts me on edge. I question their motives, which is usually nothing more than to cover their arse.

When things are settled, I will have no problem walking away from it all. I will have shed the burden of their negativity and all that goes with it. Right now I am walking thru fire.

Although it may be a tough concept for some to grasp, fire can be quite cleansing. Fire burns it all away. Fire is what will leave me clean, whole and ready to start fresh. The fire is purging things from me, my surroundings and life. Things which I no longer need. The flames flicker and dance, move in and draw back. Threaten and retreat, before latching on and destroying the negative, the dying and decaying of what once was. I am at the center of it, but yet unharmed. I am strong and I can walk thru fire.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Pray for your enemy

Pray for your enemy, for you'll never enter the Kingdom of Heaven with hatred in your heart

I seen this in the comments on a post about a black police officer helping an older white man out of the heat at a KKK rally. Many were commenting that this officer was 'only doing his job' and what if it was a white officer helping a black man? Would it still be news??? Some of the other comments questioned if the white man may change his outlook and views? That is up to him.

I'm glad that at least the description of what is seen is not lost. Many times over we hear of people spewing lies and deceit, putting their own spin on things to fit their agenda. In cases like that, what is actually happening in real life, at that moment... is twisted and distorted for their own sense of gain.

I have prayed for people I may not like or trust. I pray for them often as theirs is a world I choose not to be a part of. While I have prayed for them, I do not request, nor do I expect that they would return the sentiment. Why should I when it would be void of all sincerity?

They are not my enemies for I do not hate them. Hate is a term to be used sparingly. And while I do not hate them, they may expressly loathe my very existance. Isn't that special?