What did you really want?

Ever notice how we sometimes surround ourselves with small reminders of someone or something from our past?  Little things stand out in our daily lives to remind us of them.  They may have passed or are still with us, but there are reminders all around us, both good and bad.  Pennies from Heaven? They happen all the time.
Ever have that connection with someone that bridges time and distances to put you right back where you may not want to be?  Thinking of them brings them back into our lives, even when we know full well- no good can ever come of this... 

It is an intense connection to put it ever so slightly. We know of their toxins and how they affect our lives.  All we have to do is think of them and out of what may seem like nowhere- here they come.  We know they are a bad influence, but for some reason we cannot shake them loose. We cannot cut the ties that bind or get away from them even when we try.  They are almost worse than an addictive substance. They cling, sticking to us like a foul odor. Are harmful at best, bring out our worst, burn us every chance they get... and those are their Good attributes!  Still we crave their being, take comfort in their presence, accept them in again, know they will watch over us and quietly remind ourselves- no good can ever come of this.

They can melt our best defenses with one small  phrase. A few simple words and we give in and relent to their wishes. They can quietly whispering those words and we lose all control.  Anybody else can say those same words, in the same order, the exact same way- yet the meaning is lost on their lips. The words do not hold the same power or significance they once had.   

The only thing worse is thinking they may be gone and we missed our chance to tell them how we feel. How much we care, how we would do anything for them and how much it would hurt to never see them again, feel their touch, hear them speak our name or just be in the same room alone with them.  Even if no good could ever come of it.