Bad Pixie? Yep, that's me!
I have recently found a website that is authored by a woman who is dealing with how her life has been changed following her husbands traumatic brain injury. In reading through her notations of his behavior, outbursts, threats, and several other issues she has come to deal with as they present themselves, I can't help but notice the profound number of similarities between her husband and someone I know very well.
I have essentially thrown in the towel, tossed them back into the lap of the Higher Power that created us all and said "Here you go! You created this mess, you clean it up." Besides, who better for the job, right?
From there, the Good Pastor's advice was to "Live your life, enjoy everything you can and essentially 'kill them with kindness'."
Me being the bad Pixie that I am, I had to remind the Good Pastor that if I were to kill them with kindness- I would still need somewhere to hide the body!
Any reccommendations?
Just kidding.
The one major difference is the timing of the occurrance of the brain injury. Her husband behaves this way as a result of his brain injury. The person I know behaves the way they do and may recieve a brain injury (think frying pan to the head) as a result. Although I would never do it, believe me, some days it is mighty tempting...
A good friend of mine shared a bit of medical insight on all of this.
"Post concusion syndrome or low grade brain injuruies do have a profound impact on personality, and are very often missed when the injury involves no LOC or very short LOC (loss of conciousness). Inrease in irritability, poor boundaries, "flash rages", poor concept of time and time mangement, increased fatigue, depression, loss of focus, motivation, on and on and on....
That said, if others have been enabling them throughout their entire life and there has been no marked changes following an accident or inciting event, the prognosis is that they could just be an asshole!"
Sounds reasonable enough....
In speaking to the Good Pastor of a distant parish about this person, their advice at first was to forgive them. Sorry to disappoint, but I am not exactly that kind of Pixie. I have however, taken up praying (or at least spells and chanting) for a positive change in them. That I can do!
That said, if others have been enabling them throughout their entire life and there has been no marked changes following an accident or inciting event, the prognosis is that they could just be an asshole!"
Sounds reasonable enough....
In speaking to the Good Pastor of a distant parish about this person, their advice at first was to forgive them. Sorry to disappoint, but I am not exactly that kind of Pixie. I have however, taken up praying (or at least spells and chanting) for a positive change in them. That I can do!
I have essentially thrown in the towel, tossed them back into the lap of the Higher Power that created us all and said "Here you go! You created this mess, you clean it up." Besides, who better for the job, right?
From there, the Good Pastor's advice was to "Live your life, enjoy everything you can and essentially 'kill them with kindness'."
Me being the bad Pixie that I am, I had to remind the Good Pastor that if I were to kill them with kindness- I would still need somewhere to hide the body!
Any reccommendations?
Just kidding.
No, Really!
The only vegetables in my garden are leafy and green.
I swear it!
some people are just plain miserable, without a doubt. Cope the best your can.
ReplyDeletebtw, thanks for visiting. LOVE your blog name - very cute.
Quite a few wise words there, Prayer for positive change is a good way to go , and in the meantime do what you need to to be happy the "other will either keep up, catch up, or fall behind.I know where my money is on that gamble!
ReplyDeleteGreat Post ;)
Welcome Saucy B. Some people get a thrill out of causing anguish to others, while others just do it without trying.
ReplyDeleteFern V- A lot of truth to your words. When they fall behind and look for someone else to target is that ever a surprise?
What about getting out? It seems you're not happy.
ReplyDeleteInstead of bitching and complaining, why don't you just leave?
I don't understand why you would stay if you obviously don't like this person.
You are in control of your own life, do something positive with it.
I'm willing to bet this other person isn't too happy either.
sometimes , colormefused, a person needs to vent and kinda throw things out there in order to better face what they are dealing with . it is never as black and white as it seems , and maybe , just maybe,in prayer for positive change , and diarising feelings , some resolution might be possible.Blogs are after all often just that , a diary of sorts , a place to work out what we are thinking and feeling. so we are able to come to a reasonable place and resolution.
ReplyDeleteA negative "get out if you don't like it" is hardly a helpful statement. But I am guessing by your tone it wasn't meant to be was it ?
Bitching and complaining? Well, at least, you colored yourself confused and saved others the trouble.
ReplyDeleteIn life there will always be those who choose to parasite off of the energy of others rather than contribute.
Not that hard to understand really. It involves one party being stuck in taker mode in a relationship, which by default causes the other party to be the unwilling or reluctant giver.
Really yucky role to be assigned. And therein lies the problem, one party chooses and the other is assigned.
In sickness and in health. Do you suppose that was really the intent of those words?
One party decides to just quit AND BECOME A DEAD WEIGHT, and the other party is expected to put their head through that noose, oops, I mean yoke and pull for two. Is that really how it works?
Or doesn't?
Oh and hey, no complaining now.LOL In my world bitching and complaining signify the absence of having given up. They are even occasionally the tools of change. But I guess we all process differently. Or not.
Fernvalley and Living Large
ReplyDeleteI didn't ask either of you.
coloryouconfused I can't see where you "asked" anyone. Appears to me you came in and posted from your moral high horse, soap box, whatever pick your metaphor.
ReplyDeleteMeh, makes no nevermind to me. Just another chucker/heckler from the peanut gallery most like.
Thanks so much for your powerful insight into a complex situation colormeconfused. :)
Haha! Loved this. Sorry to laugh, but you're adorable.
ReplyDelete