What did you really want?

Ever notice how we sometimes surround ourselves with small reminders of someone or something from our past?  Little things stand out in our daily lives to remind us of them.  They may have passed or are still with us, but there are reminders all around us, both good and bad.  Pennies from Heaven? They happen all the time.
Ever have that connection with someone that bridges time and distances to put you right back where you may not want to be?  Thinking of them brings them back into our lives, even when we know full well- no good can ever come of this... 

It is an intense connection to put it ever so slightly. We know of their toxins and how they affect our lives.  All we have to do is think of them and out of what may seem like nowhere- here they come.  We know they are a bad influence, but for some reason we cannot shake them loose. We cannot cut the ties that bind or get away from them even when we try.  They are almost worse than an addictive substance. They cling, sticking to us like a foul odor. Are harmful at best, bring out our worst, burn us every chance they get... and those are their Good attributes!  Still we crave their being, take comfort in their presence, accept them in again, know they will watch over us and quietly remind ourselves- no good can ever come of this.

They can melt our best defenses with one small  phrase. A few simple words and we give in and relent to their wishes. They can quietly whispering those words and we lose all control.  Anybody else can say those same words, in the same order, the exact same way- yet the meaning is lost on their lips. The words do not hold the same power or significance they once had.   

The only thing worse is thinking they may be gone and we missed our chance to tell them how we feel. How much we care, how we would do anything for them and how much it would hurt to never see them again, feel their touch, hear them speak our name or just be in the same room alone with them.  Even if no good could ever come of it.      

Comments

  1. Each person we meet comes into our lives for a purpose ,I believe. Whether to teach us,heal us ,or just as a character builder. The time they spent , however good or bad is never wasted , and holding on to the benefits of that time is OK. Sadly sometimes we lose sight of the reasons and just hold on.
    I guess I would say , get it said , if the ones that left before you could tell the how you feel ,taught you nothing else ,let the lesson be to never hold back from saying what you need to. Get is said , get it done . NO regrets!

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  2. Wow this is a flippin awesome post! So fitting for me...although I can't tell u why. ;) Incredible writing my friend!

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  3. FernValley- I almost missed that chance once. It was a long time (a few years) before I got the chance to let it out and get it off my mind. I am sure not to let it happen again.

    Dawn- Thank you. Apparently I am not the only one who has felt this way before?

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