Unsettled hurt

I recently had a run in with a former ex of mine.  While it was nice to see him again for a change, it was also something that shook up my day. The following day I was in a foul mood because of it and just grouchy with everyone in general.

I know the reasons why we are no longer together, yet when another friend of mine asked why I let it get to me? I had no idea what to tell him. I was a bit angry at *Bradley for some things that have yet to be resolved. The way it all ended, they probably likely never will be resolved to my liking or satisfaction.  Yet here I was pissed off at him still. I talked to another friend of mine later in the day, recounted all of the crap I had endured and waited for her confirmation that yep, he is an utter waste. What I got instead was another round of Why does this all still bother you?

Which got me to thinking- why does it bother me? Why do I let him get to me. I know he is a waste, nothing old or new about him surprises me, why should I care? So there are unresolved issues still lurking in the depths waiting to be hauled up to the surface. Let them go and leave them there. Do I really need someone else to confirm that he is a dolt? If they do, does that make him any less of a dolt or me a better person? No. So I shook it off and let it lie. Pushed the thick layer of dirt over it and buried it for good. He may never change, but I have because of everything. Him and his unresolved hurt can go straight to Hell.

*Name changed to protect the idiot innocent

Comments

  1. The loss pf a relationship is like a death. We go through a mourning period then bury the relationship and then move on. THe differance is with the death of a relationship, the person comes back into out life periodicly and reopens the wounds of the loss. Even the loss of a bad relationship requires a mourning period. WOunds need to heal. Eventually the scab turns to a scar. Your meeting him and getting upset means you are still in the scab stage.

    Don't mean to preach, but I've had some experience with this.

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  2. When someone proves to be ,not who we thought they were, or who they claimed to be esp after we have invested our hearts in them, it makes us angry, hurt ,insulted.We have to deal with the fact that we were wrong ,or we were lied to, easy to be angry,and hard to let go of that kind of hurt and anger, maybe you needed to see that person again to get some closure

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  3. I think that's the hardest part, realising that it doesn't matter to us anymore. It's hard to break the habit.

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  4. Ugh it's really difficult sometimes to let go of that hurt and anger. I'm still upset with the way my most recent ex betrayed me. The only person it's really affecting is me. I'm the only one still allowing it to damage me and I need to bury it like you have. And I will one of these days. :)

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  5. Cranky- It wasn't until the following day that I had my panties in a twist. A little late? Sure.

    FernValley- Closure? Before I might have said that would involve planting them in the ground somewhere. I have moved on. He's not worth it.

    Kellie- Once you get there though, things are sooooo much different and BETTER!

    Vapid Vixen- A good friend of mine recently told me something I think you will like. Thus, I pass it on to you now. Sometimes the only way we want to run into an ex is with a car, or a large truck.

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