Bang! Bang! Bang!

That's the sound of someone hitting their head against the wall. It's not a sound I ever choose to make, at least not with my own head. No, no. If it's going to be someone's head banging against the wall, I would rather it be theirs, not mine. If someone else chooses to bang their head against the wall- Who am I to stop them? Unless it is a friend of mine of course. Then yes, I will step in and shove a pillow in their way to lessen the blow.

Everyone has, at some time or another, faced challenges in life that make us feel like we are banging our head against a proverbial wall. We do what we are told and are still chastised for it. We try to accomplish something and repeatedly fail, sometimes we are even set up to fail before we even begin. Then there is the game of- waste your breath. I have seen this game played more times then I would like to count.

Waste your breath often starts with a question. The person asking the question, usually has an answer already in mind. They ask you the question, then sit back and pretend to listen to your reply. They will keep asking the same question, maybe change the wording a little, but they repeatedly ask it. To them it is a game of see how many times you fall for it. How many times will you answer the question, the same way, trying to convince them of the truth?

You may as well bang your head against the wall, because they aren't really listening. They don't care, but they sure get a kick out of watching you get flustered and worked up, trying to tell them what's going on or what happened.

There's another game similar to this, called Lip Service. Lip Service is similar in that the person who is supposed to be listening is not. They will tell you what they think you want to hear and then blatantly do as they please. You can explain things all day long, argue with them and even threaten them with some course of action that they will be reprimanded for, but they still have their own plans in mind, serving their own agenda and don't give a toot or a half a shit about what happens to anyone else around them.

So how do you handle people who play these stupid games? By giving them stupid prizes of course! Give them answers they aren't expecting and probably don't want to hear. Agree with them. It saves everyone time and energy. Ever watch a game of tug-o-war? What happens when one 'team' stops playing and drops the rope? Sometimes you have to lose to actually win.


  1. I know all about failure. That's the story of my life. Speaking of tug-of-war, did you ever watch reruns of the old "Battle of the Network Stars?" They always ended with a tug-of-war. I was amazed at how fascinating it was.

  2. Speaking of games people play, I used to work with a sociopath who liked to play "lets you and him fight." It got him into management. It got him the cheerleader and 4 kids. It got him a mansion on the hill. Everyone hates him and he deserves all that hate, but it hasn't really hurt him. He's won.

  3. Memphis Steve- I've never even heard of that program. As for the sociopath and his 'winning', sometimes the bad guys do win in a sense. But then you also have to consider the environment they are in and what kind of havoc the people around him endure and ask yourself- why?

    Sure he got the cheerleader and 4 kids, but what is her mental state for not only being drawn in, but staying? What effect is it having on their kids, living in a household with two disfunctional or maybe disordered parents? The kids don't know any different and think 'this is "normal"'. Likely they will repeat the process because there is nobody there to show them any other way.

    1. I keep waiting for the day that I hear on the news where his wife or his kids have murdered him, or at the very least left him. But so far that day has never come. He doesn't seem to have suffered at all. Some people believe in karma, but I don't. I do believe that his wife and kids have suffered greatly because of his personality disorder. But I don't believe he has.

  4. Not with your own head.... I'd say that's smart thinking. I'm very successful as a faillure. My Momma isn't proud, though, but I think it should count for something.

    When people pretend they are listening I throw in a dirty word to get their attention. If that doesn't work, I just close my eyes and pretend they're not there.


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