Thursday, September 13, 2012

Who do you love?

The Dalai Lama once said, "Love until it hurts".  For anyone who has loved someone so much it hurts, you know what it costs you in the end.  A dear friend of mine loved someone else that deeply, I have loved someone that deeply and I am sure many others have as well. My friend- well her loved one passed away recently. My beloved, well for various reasons we have drifted apart over the years and lost contact altogether. Although we each handle grieving the loss of that love in different ways, it is still a loss, nonetheless.  Sometimes the love can be resurrected, sometimes it cannot.

I have thought about those words, Love until it hurts, and wondered a few things about the context in which they were said. Although we each have our own perception of things, I wondered Who or What we are to Love until it hurts. Are we supposed to love someone else so much it hurts? Are we supposed to love an animal, a creature until it hurts? Or as we supposed to love an inanimate object or something else until it hurts?  A car, a house, a place, maybe a hobby, sport or career?

I also questioned, Maybe we are supposed to Love Ourself until it hurts? For whatever reason we are pretty quick to put ourself at the bottom of the list. WHY? In many cases (relationships, religion, therapy) we are told to love ourself before we can expect anyone else to love us. Often we find ourselves doing for others and overlooking ourselves. Only after it all falls apart, do we think that maybe I deserve better. Many times though, we find it easier to blame ourselves instead. I could have, should have, done more, been better and maybe they wouldn't have left... 

My dear friend also went as far as to point out a list of my strengths and good qualities. Could she do the same for herself? Probably, but do the words, thoughts and ideas come as easily? Not really. Could I return the favor? I am still trying to do so.  Can I point out the good things about me? Not as easily as I can point out my faults.

Another good friend of mine, uses his faults as a shield. He is quick to verbalize, point out and display his faults, because if he does it, then it takes the wind out of the sails of those who may do so to berate him. This saddens me because when you get to know him- he is a wonderful person who is very dedicated, honest and giving of his time and knowledge and would likely give everything he has to help someone in need. I consider myself blessed to know such a man.

While I may be a bit more reserved in Who I choose to "Love until it hurts" in the future, I know I am capable of doing so. I know I can, maybe it is time to love ME that much. Besides, if I can't love myself, who else can or would want to? 

~Pixie!~